Nirvana of the Aegis Soul
by Kaiser Ryouga II
Summary: Follow up to Marlene's Iron Maiden. Millia thinks over her decision to leave I-No. (Shoujo-ai)


So cold...  
  
Where I am...  
  
Drifting once again...  
  
I walk here, along this quiet strip of gentle grassland. The coldness, drilling into me. My cloak, flocking in the chilly breeze. It is through this I travel. Once again I journey.   
  
I journey from her, to face him.   
  
The two facets of my dilemma. I am trapped. Trapped between the proverbial rock and a hard place, between my past and my...future. And as each step I place moves me forward, an old memory shoots into my mind. Memories of my old life.   
  
From my youth...I was trained to be nothing more than a weapon. A tool for the bloodthirsty ambitions of others. And...as clearly as I can remember...his darkness...  
  
Zato-ONE's darkness...  
  
That was the driving force behind it all. Zato-ONE...that animal...that lowlife scum...he is the one who did this to my life. He was the one who narrated this murderous power into my image. He was the one who caused (and continues to reinforce) my suffering.  
  
And I will never be free...until I am rid of him.   
  
So...I will relentlessly pursue him. I do not believe in destiny, but if I have at least one mission in life, it is to bring him down. That is all I live for. It is all I should live for.   
  
To finally free myself from him, from the past, from the assassins...I have to kill him...and yet...  
  
None of that seems to matter when she holds me...  
  
Irritated with these thoughts, I shake my head free of them. I cannot do this anymore. I cannot use her...not like this. I will not let it be like this.   
  
I will not use...I-No.   
  
But...even now I...I see her face in my mind's eye. Her eyes...constantly changing colour. Her midnight raven hair blowing in the cool winds...her fluttering smirk of contempt.   
  
Again I try to shake free from her magnetic image. Why have I let myself...become so connected to her? For the most part, I have accepted the loneliness that comes with being a runaway assassin. I knew what the consequences of my actions would be long before I even left the Organization. I knew that by running from it...simple contact with anyone was no longer possible.   
  
I willingly sold my soul into seclusion.   
And yet I allowed myself contact with I-No. I risked her safety simply so that I...could be with her.   
  
Why am I so selfish? Why do I continue to manipulate the lives of others for my own ends?   
  
I will not continue to use her...it is disgusting. It symbolises everything I stand against. But I still find myself...desiring her.   
  
Needing her electric touch pressing against my skin. But...I cannot...offer her what she needs. She needs more...I-No needs someone who will not treat her the way I do.   
  
"You're just a coward, Rage."  
  
I freeze in place. Her voice. Still...inside me. Dancing along the canals of my mind. Wrenching into my soul and drawing out my conscience.   
  
Is she right? Am I a coward?   
  
My only options...have been to run. That was the only way I could free myself from the assassin group. It is all I have ever known. Maybe I am cowardly.   
  
As I think...I am running from her...  
  
But does she not understand the situation? I had no choice but to leave. Why does she allow herself to be manipulated by me? Why is she so stubborn? Why can't she see that I'm not right for her?   
  
Why doesn't she understand that it would be better for everyone if...I never went back to her?  
  
All our meetings are tarnished by filthy lust. Even our first...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I sit here in this smoke-infested bar, by the bar side, sitting quietly on a tall wooden stool. I sigh helplessly as my ravaged ears desperately attempt to block out the jarring thunder of the music around me. And ever slowly, the burly bartender strides up to me.   
  
"Here's ya sake." He quips gruffly.   
  
Shortly he is gone to tend to other dishevelled customers of his...establishment. And I stare at the small glass of premium Japanese style sake.   
  
It brings back good memories of my times with Baiken.   
  
Alcoholic she may have been, no swordswoman on the face of this earth could rival her fire and courageous dignity. She always seemed to have a simple outlook on life, but there was always a hidden depth to her that I could never have begun to imagine.   
  
Baiken was the only one could ever understand me.   
  
Things were so much easier back then. When I travelled with her...life was not difficult. My life was simple and clean.   
  
Another section of my life that I'm left relenting over.  
  
Quickly, I gulp down the small glass of sake, push myself off the stool and make my way to the exit. I never did have Baiken's tolerance for alcohol.   
  
As I slowly saunter past the bouncers and pass through the double shifting doors, I step out in the outside to take a deep breath of the cool night air.   
  
But I do not savour it for long.   
  
As a dark haired woman in crimson leather, wielding an unusual guitar slowly stalks to me.   
  
Her strange eyeshade permeates my soul for some reason. Why?   
  
"I've been watching you." She states. "For such a cute little package, you've got a grim face. It's kinda sexy...but I bet it's been a while since you were last laid, huh?"  
  
I'm sure my face did not reflect my thoughts. Such rude arrogance is usually annoying to me. But I must admit, compliments (if that could be considered as such) like that did get to me. No matter how meaningless they were.   
  
Still, I try to retain an aura of indifference towards her, and I begin to walk away, without uttering so much as a word to her.   
  
And seems as if I have struck a nerve.   
  
"Who the hell are you to walk away from me like that?!"   
  
I say nothing.  
  
And again she yells out. "So the cute little flower has an attitude, eh?"   
  
Suddenly I stop in my tracks. Instantly I am filled with a strange anger. Unbeknownst to anyone, that was his name for me...  
  
His 'Little Flower'...  
  
My head moves around slowly. "Do not call me that."  
  
...I can...see her...smirking... "Heh, heh, heh...what's up? Did I say something wrong?"   
  
Normally, I would not have even thought about using my powers on anyone unless I absolutely needed to, but the cocky disposition of this woman angered me. Speedily, I rip my cloak from my body and my whip-like hair lashes out at this leather-clad woman. But she does not run. In total surprise to me, she jolts to one side, avoiding my attack with almost eagle-like quickness. Then her long fingers strum across the strings of her cerulean guitar.   
  
And I let out a small yelp of pain as a blast of ultra sonic waves carve a shallow cut into the map of my face. I slide back somewhat to reassess the error in judgement that I had made of this woman's power, but before long, I see a flash of red slice through the air.   
  
Sneakily, the woman positions herself before me.   
  
With another conceited smile, she shoves me against the stonewall, pressing herself against my body, her rosy scent surrounding me.   
  
Her eyes gleam as she looks into mine. "You're not a willing fighter, are you?" He pauses to push her left leg between my thighs. "Nah, I didn't think so."  
  
Then shockingly, my body freezes in place and my eyes widen, as this woman leans toward my face. I gasp as she drags her warm tongue over the wound she administered to my cheek.  
  
She then pulls back and smiles deviously as a small trail of my blood dribbles down the side of her mouth.   
  
"Your blood tastes so sweet, Cookie." She says lustfully.   
  
I freeze up automatically as she presses her forceful lips against mine, my body trembling with the contact. One of her hands snaked up to my jaw placing a tight grip around it. Out of reflex, my lips part, and this woman seizes her opportunity, thrusting her tongue into my mouth.   
  
I remain still from pure shock, as her free hand roughly massages my breast. And the revolting taste of my blood fills my mouth as her tongue dances along my own.   
  
But what shocks me most...was that I wasn't fighting it...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A sharp chill runs down my spine as I remember what that night led to.   
  
The first time I slept with I-No.   
  
**********  
  
Kaiser's Afterthoughts  
----------------------  
  
* Well. I've decided make this into a four part series; with two more follow-ups on the way. The next will be from I-No's perspective.   
  
* In case you're wondering, this whole thing is *not* a spin-off of Darkest Body, Brightest Soul. Millia said that she spent some time with Baiken, but that is not the Millia-scenario from DB, BS. This is a completely independent story. 


End file.
